Only in a Game
by Arden Tenjou
Summary: Within the virtual world of a game, Jotaro falls in love with a beautiful woman named Aki. Little does he know, the person playing her is actually Kakyoin Noriaki, whom he cruelly rejected. When he discovers the two are the same person, Noriaki avoids him out of fear, not realizing the impact he has already made on the stoic Jotaro. A story of mutually unrequited love.


The first time we met, I ended up in a ditch.

"Aki. Over here."

I turned toward Jotaro's voice. In this world, he had barely changed anything about his appearance from his real life image. Here, he also wore a gakuran, decorated with only slightly more gaudy gold accessories than I was used to seeing. His wild mane of curly black hair still threatened to swallow the back of his cap. His face was so alike to his real one that my heart still ached each time I saw it. Probably because I couldn't bear to look at the real thing.

I smiled and walked over. It took a while as a result of my own choices in this world. This popular game – SkyArc – was one I had joined after Jotaro recommended it. But I hadn't told him that. My short legs rustled the shorter skirt I had chosen to accentuate my character's diminutive appearance. My long black hair swished behind me as I moved, catching the artificial sunlight. I smiled at Jotaro naturally and with genuine joy, in a way I could never do in real life.

"Sempai. Nice to see you again," I said, with a calculated head tilt.

Though of course his character's expression remained stoic, I felt mild annoyance through the screen nevertheless. "I told you that's weird," he said, refusing further explanation.

"But…I don't know you in real life. It seems strange to say your name." I chuckled nervously. It honestly felt strange calling him anything but "JoJo," but I knew that would only make him suspicious.

"Deal with it."

I sighed. Indeed, whether in virtual reality or otherwise, Jotaro would always be Jotaro. "All right…Kujo-san."

"Jotaro," he intoned humorlessly.

I closed my eyes with mild irritation that I kept from my character's face. "Jotaro," I said reluctantly, and with this I did allow a slight blush over my character's face. After all, that was appropriate for her. I had based her on Jotaro's ideal type; a demure Japanese beauty. "So. You said you wanted to talk to me about something. What's on your mind?"

He fell silent for a few moments. Eventually he said almost under his breath, "Let's walk a little."

I shrugged much smaller and more feminine shoulders than my own and happily joined him for a stroll. I blushed a little (in the real world obviously) as I realized I had to take two steps for every one of his. In real life I was nearly his height, thin but solidly built. I was sure I wouldn't feel good to hold. There was no better feeling than imagining what it would be like to be swallowed up inside his arms.

Jotaro slowed as we neared a stream beside an apple tree in full bloom. He rarely said such things out loud, but I had noticed he became even more speechless than usual around objects of natural beauty. Even though this tree was made of nothing but pixels and we were both seeing it through separate screens, spending time together silently appreciating the natural world was just about the happiest feeling I ever had.

Eventually he came to a complete stop. For a moment I thought there was some kind of glitch, but I realized he was just being Jotaro and struggling as ever with words.

"Aki," he said abruptly. "Why don't you want to meet me?"

I blushed so badly behind the VR headset that I felt my eyes start to tear. But I kept my character's reaction to a light blush and uncomfortable laugh. "That's…I mean it's not that I don't want to…we're both busy with school, and…"

"Are you sure that's not an excuse?"

The headset felt uncomfortably hot as my eyes stung underneath it. He really was so talented at backing me into a corner.

Jotaro sighed. "You probably think I'm a middle-aged creep or something, right?"

I stared at him. "What? No…I know you're not-" I gasped and froze. I knew it was only a matter of time before I let something slip. I just assumed I was (in general) much smarter than Jotaro and it wouldn't be a problem, but I should have known my emotions would get the better of me. Even he had to catch that one.

His character's frown darkened. "You 'know' I'm not?"

"I mean it's…just a feeling," I muttered, hoping my character's cute appearance would hide how suspicious I was being. "But I should ask you the same thing. You have no way of knowing who I really am. What we have here is…precious. At least to me. Why does it need to be more than that?"

Jotaro's expression softened slightly. He turned away and didn't answer for a few moments. Eventually he said, "If that's all you want."

I quickly tried to think of something to say to stop the aching feeling in my chest from denying this desire to see him and be loved by him in the real world, but knowing there was no possibility of that ever happening. "Where shall we go today?"

Jotaro's character brought both his fists together, clinking his heavily plated fists – his chosen weapon here. "I heard about a big monster dropping good items in the Haunted Forest."

I had my character produce a small but pretty magic spell for fun. "Lead the way then," I said with a smile.

A couple of hours later, with items in hand, I didn't hang around. I said goodbye, switched off my headset, and pulled it slowly from my face. A lock of curly red hair fell in place of the smooth black that almost felt more familiar now. I looked down at my hard, boyish body, angular hands with veins and callouses. My long, intellectual and decidedly unapproachable face caught the corner of my eye, but I didn't look directly at it.

"Noriaki?"

My mother's voice from the foot of the stairs.

"Dinner's ready."

I took in a deep breath, restoring the reality that should be in my perception. "Coming," I said, hoping there was no emotion in my voice.

It wasn't as if I could only see Jotaro in the game. I would see him at school. I saw him practically every day, although he rarely seemed to notice me. I'm not sure he even remembers how we met, or who started avoiding whom after that.

It was a rainy day. I had just transferred to his school, on Dio's orders although I would later lose almost all memory of this. I seemed to have caught the eye of several delinquents who didn't like the way some of the pretty girls at school were talking about me. At the time I had resolved not to use my stand power on civilians. And so, by the time Jotaro appeared, I was already several punches the worse for the wear, my knees and palms coated with mud from being thrown to the ground several times.

"What's going on?" his rumbling bass echoed through the bodies of everyone standing near, even through the rain.

I looked up from the mud and saw him properly for the first time. The upper half of his face was cast in shadow by his hat, his wild hair dripping with rain and his body seemed even more huge as it towered over me where I knelt. He cast a terrifying glare down at me, then at the one who had just punched me to the ground.

"It's Kujo…run!"

Jotaro raised an eyebrow in what almost looked like disappointment as the ones who had been beating me up ran off into the darkening evening. His glare turned back down to me. "You a student here? I don't recognize you."

I sat back on my heels, intending to stand up to greet him properly but momentarily disgusted by the appearance of my hands. I sighed heavily, brushing them against one another and letting the rain run over them to at least remove some of the mud. To my surprise, a flash of white entered my vision. Though now being soaked by the rain as well, in Jotaro's hand was a handkerchief.

"Not sure how much good it will do," he muttered, also looking at my hands.

I stifled a chuckle. I accepted the handkerchief and stood up, offering a reluctant smile. "Kakyoin Noriaki. I'm a transfer student. Second year."

Jotaro nodded. "Kujo Jotaro. Third year."

I nodded as well, again attempting to hide a smile. "Yes. You're well known even at my previous school. Should I call you JoJo-sempai, as the girls in my class were today?"

Jotaro rolled his eyes. "Whatever you want." His eyes again traveled from my mud-soaked lower legs to the growing bruise on my cheek and bloody lip. "Should you go to the infirmary?"

I shook my head as I finished wiping off my hands. "If it means having to stay here any longer in this weather, I'd rather just go home."

"You seem like a rich kid. You parents won't have anything to say about you coming home like that?"

My stomach sank as I realized he was right. I opened my mouth to object anyway, as I could feel an urge rising up inside my from the flesh bud in my skull, telling me what I needed to do to Kujo Jotaro. _He's vulnerable_, came the purring, malicious voice. _Kill him. _

I shut my eyes tight to drive it away, even though the slightest act of defiance filled every drop of blood in my veins with cold dread. _I can't kill him_, I whispered in my heart. _Not this man…_ Even I didn't know why, but even the thought of hurting him caused my body to freeze.

But as I tried to think of an objection, a large, firm hand closed around my wrist, leading me back toward the school.

I couldn't stop a blush from reaching my cheeks. In all honesty, I had probably fallen for him the first moment I saw him. It was impossible not to feel something for someone who stepped into danger to protect you. And even if he hadn't been achingly handsome, the way he appeared with such self-assurance and reliability made it hard not to confess to him right there and then.

As my heart pounded at this unexpected intimacy as his large hand pulled me along beside him, the voice in my head grew louder.

_Use your Hierophant._

I gasped, realizing Hierophant had already materialized and was snaking around my arm to reach out toward Jotaro's hand. I yanked my hand back without thinking.

Jotaro stopped and stared back at me, anger and suspicion surfacing in his hard gaze. "What's wrong?"

Teenage hormones, lingering pain and adrenaline, the voice of my master, and a genuine affection for this coarse hero, swirled inside my body as my heart pounded and breathing rose. What should I say? Save him from Dio, yes, but then what? How?

I barely noticed as my hand fell on his arm. His bicep was enormous. I flushed as I started to lose all concentration. What was I trying to do?

"Kakyoin?" he muttered, sounding confused.

_Yes, this is good. _Dio's voice in my head again. _Seduce him. You're good at that, Kakyoin._

I swallowed as genuine desire melded with the urge to obey my master's command. Before I even knew what I was doing, I had grasped Jotaro's uniform over his chest, momentarily lost in the sensation of running my fingers over his iron pectorals. I swallowed the sound of a gasp inside his mouth as I pressed my lips to his.

For an exhilarating moment, his fingers tightly gripped my shoulders and he didn't pull away. But the next moment, my head spun as different parts of my body ached than before. I realized I was on my back. This time in a ditch, my uniform now far too soaked to be revived with a handkerchief.

Jotaro stood above me, the back of his hand over his mouth and an enraged glare amplified by the presence of Star Platinum hovering just behind him. I'm still not sure whether it was Jotaro himself or his self-protection acting in instinct as Star Platinum who had pushed me. But either way, it was an action borne from the depths of his soul. He had rejected me with everything he had. And without saying another word, that was where he left me.

While Dio was eventually defeated (which I later heard was in fact Jotaro's doing), and the flesh bud in my head removed (this one I clearly remembered Jotaro doing), my feelings for Jotaro did not fade with it. But if he even remembered our first meeting, which I'm sure was easy to overwrite given that the next one was me actively trying to kill him, he seemed to have at best no opinion of me, and typically ignored me if he saw me in school.

One morning between classes, I was walking down the corridor, taking some books back to the library when a huge, iron-like shoulder collided with mine from behind. Since I had been lost in thought about Jotaro at the time, the books tumbled to the ground as I blinked down at my empty hands. I was about to bend down to pick them up when I noticed a terrifying presence above me.

Backlit by the light of the window behind him, his hair like dark flames lapping at his demonic face, Jotaro glared down at me as if I were a bug to be crushed.

As my heart pounded at his proximity, I had a brief flash of the soft expression he wore in the game, when facing the small and gentle Aki. The contrast between his treatment of her and this sent a sliver of sharp pain through my chest. I looked down and began to silently gather the books.

To my shock, a huge hand entered my vision. Not only the remaining books on the ground, but Jotaro wordlessly gathered all the books, including the one I was holding.

"Where are these going?" he asked tonelessly as we both stood.

"Th-…the library…"

He nodded. "Sorry for hitting you," he muttered.

With that, and leaving me utterly speechless and empty-handed behind him, Jotaro left without another word toward the library. I felt my jaw tighten against my will. I had to struggle not to break into crying in the middle of the school day. I wasn't even sure why it hurt so badly; thinking either that he did actually remember me and obviously resented me, or wondering whether he was apologizing for bumping into me or for throwing me in the ditch. There was so much distance between us it was painful. But more than anything, his small act of kindness of picking up my books – which led me to hope it was at least something less strong than hate – stung the most.

It was several days later, once again in my much preferred world of SkyArc, when I missed an obvious trap set by the world's most obtuse man.

Jotaro and I (as Aki) were running through a field, side by side, as we had heard a rumor of a powerful monster we might be able to defeat together, when he started the conversation casually.

"So you read Kawabata Yasunari for fun?"

I laughed, appreciating the bell-like giggle of Aki's soft voice. "I enjoy his poetry. Is that bad?"

"I knew it."

I stopped in my tracks. So did Jotaro. My ears suddenly felt hot. I could barely hear, as a rushing sound raged through them. I struggled to draw in breath. This couldn't be happening.

"You're Kakyoin. Aki. From Noriaki," Jotaro continued, somehow able to function even though I was in pieces before him.

It was over. This sweet little world where I could at least pretend that my feelings were shared. Not just that, but now Jotaro knew that I'd been deceiving him. The person who had disgusted him so much he couldn't help but throw him away with all his strength. The guilt that had been burning softly all this time suddenly roared into a monster that threatened to devour me.

I couldn't speak. Couldn't respond at all. Until I realized that if I did nothing, even the taciturn Jotaro would be too angry now not to tell me how he really felt. And I knew what he would say. And at the thought of hearing those words, even in a game, fear forced me into action.

"Hey. Say someth-"

Before Jotaro could even finish his sentence, my finger flicked the switch on my headset, and the screen before my eyes went black. And that was the end of my short, selfish fantasy. I sank down to my knees on the floor of my room. I halfheartedly pushed off the headset, not wanting it to be touching me. And in mourning for a brief but tormented love, I cried.


End file.
